I'm Sorry

I'm sorry but I'm just not ready. This has all been too fast for me. I need time and space. I'm not ready to be in this relationship.
I know your serious about your feelings ~ I dont want you to be hurt.

Focus!!!

Something I try very hard to do but no matter how hard I try...

... Curriculum writing is still boring and time consuming --> ie. WORK

But it has to be done all the same, regardless of how i feel so:

1. I will not watch youtube

2. I will not chat unnessasarily on skype or msn

3. I will not make overseas calls to my best friend

4. I will not go play with the puppies

5. I will not get sucked into watching Chinese soap operas with complicated love triangles

6. I will not look for jokes and interesting things to put on my band's webpage to entertain them

7. I will not watch the movie I just downloaded

8. I will not meet up with friends for coffee

9. I will not check my various online profiles

10. I will not blog

.... Opps

Dancing Skeleton Man

~Just for shits and giggles~

Memories

I still wear it sometimes.

Live Life ~ No Regrets

Live Life ~ No Regrets

Some people seem to think it a narrow minded way of thinking.
Some have said it’s a way of not dealing with life - of hiding or covering up mistakes.
I have been told that this notion will stop you from moving forward in life.

I beg to differ.

Saying that you live life with no regrets is not the same as not learning from mistakes.
Look back; see your life’s journey thus far, with all its twisted, broken and misguided steps, but do not dwell on it.

~ Do Not regret past mistakes or misfortunes~
ACCEPT them ~ REJOICE in them.

Fore it is only through living that we learn to better ourselves.
And life is not meant to be a smooth sailing journey over docile waters but a tough, stressful, rugged battle of rough seas.

~ That is true living. ~

Every tear is a precious living diamond freely given. Every heartbreak merely the raging fire that clears the dead and dying to prepare the heart for new birth of love, hope and joy.
I pity those that have regrets - they will never be able to move on with their lives while they dwell on their troubles.

Build a bridge ~ GET OVER IT.

Life is about contrast and what better contrast for love than having experienced hate, for joy than having experienced misery, for hope than having experienced loss.

~ Fear is born partly of regret. ~

It is being so focused on a past experience that you cannot move beyond it and therefore are not prepared to face it again and CONQUER it.
A new born child does not fear. He embraces life trusting wholly in those around him.
Do you trust all those around you? Can you honestly say you have no fears?
You are a child of the universe and within you lies limitless potential.
You hold all the secrets to the universe.

~ All the answers are given. ~

So what is to fear? That which is needed for your life is given to you and
nothing is ever given that you can’t handle.
Life is about standing at the crossroads and choosing, and the sweetest truth is that there is
no such thing as a wrong choice.
Whether or not you believe in fate, destiny or God, you have the freedom of choice.
Each choice is a step is on your journey, a brick paved on your own UNIQUE pathway, a lesson to learn from to guide you in future.
It is good to LOOK BACK at your journey so far but only to admire it, to be proud of it,
to claim it proudly as your own.
But in looking back never cease to MOVE FORWARDS.

~ Never regret. ~

Too Late for Goodbye

I'm Sorry

I just wish I understood why you care so much by what ppl say...
I was revisiting the past, came across this... "Man's Favorite Past Time"

Well regardless, sometimes it's better to wipe the slate clean

But it's too late for goodbye

Maybe It's Time

Maybe its time to start thinking about moving back.

I had a friend who would talk about "taking the jump"

Friendship is so important to me, so what am i still doing here?

Even that is gone but I'm still here, fooling myself

It's all so unknown... But then staying here is just as unknown.

I'm a coward, I can own it. I had hoped... but it doesn't look like he really cares.

When is the right time? Maybe there is no right time.

Maybe he was right and all you have to do is jump.

At least if I move back I know there will be ppl who will truly be there for me if I fall.

I don't have to fear their abandonment.

My family is all I have here or me now, but i need more.

I need friendship and i am sick of the hollow friends here.

Maybe it's time to jump

Someone Said....

"Sparks from the universe of the highest order.

Tap into the reservoir of limitless potential within.

Detach from attachment is our main disorder.

Discovering the ancient way in this new age awakening."

~Author Unknown

Through Prayer May We Recieve All That We Need

"So I say to you: Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you.

For everyone who asks receives; he who seeks finds; and to him who knocks, the door will be opened.

"Which of you fathers, if your son asks for a fish, will give him a snake instead?

Or if he asks for an egg, will give him a scorpion?

If you then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give the Holy Spirit to those who ask him!"

I Remember

"Sorrento Moon (I Remember)"

I sang your praises daily
And we let ourselves get swept away
It's true baby
We held heaven in our hands for days
You wait a long time
For something wild to take you somewhere
And all I needed was to fly
It's a long way from paradise to ordinary
Picture us just smiling there, we didn't have a care

I remember, how it all came true
It was oh so tender
And I was lost with you
By the sweet sorrento moon

But the stars don't burn that brightly
Every season surely slips away
But you baby
You're the reason why I chose to stay
You wait a long time to find your dream and hold on to it
And all I needed was to fly
It's a long day from innocence to understanding
A picture of a child at play, is how I feel today

And I remember, how it all came true
It was oh so tender, and I was lost with you
By the sweet sorrento moon...
(la luna de sorrento)

Life

"Don't be afraid that your life will end,
Be afraid that it will never begin."

~Anonymous~

Life For Rent

I haven't really ever found a place that I call home
I never stick around quite long enough to make it
I apologize that once again I'm not in love
But it's not as if I mind that your heart ain't exactly breaking

It's just a thought, only a thought
But if my life is for rent and I don't lean to buy
Well I deserve nothing more than I get
Cos nothing I have is truly mine

I've always thought that I would love to live by the sea
To travel the world alone and live my life more simply
I have no idea what's happened to that dream
Cos there's really nothing left here to stop me

It's just a thought, only a thought
But if my life is for rent and I don't learn to buy
Well I deserve nothing more than I get
Cos nothing I have is truly mine

While my heart is a shield and I won't let it down
While I am so afraid to fail so I won't even try
Well how can I say I'm alive

If my life is for rent...

Temptation Visits

Temptation visited me yesterday

In the form of an unexpected message... him... It really caught me off guard. I had almost forgotten... almost.

Just when I thought I was in the clear it comes back around.

I am weak, But I don't want to be. The danger is when I start thinking... My mind plays a nasty game. My heart get caught up in the web.... So stupid. Stupid little girl...

But then I think of The Boy.

He's the voice in my head, the voice of reason. My conscience

Thank you.

I'll make you proud of me yet.

Reflections On Life

Lie awake
Decisions to make
Focus the mind
Answers to find
Too many thoughts
Ideas to sort
Memories sad
Times had
Friends lost
Count the cost
Conscious drifts
Sands shift
Days pass
Too fast
Time flies
Goodbyes
Eyes close
Life goes...


People often spend too much time focusing on what they dont like aout their lives, regretting past decisions, and longing for how life was before...
What they need to realise is that while they are making themselves unhappy life still goes on.
The truly sad thing is that by always looking back they miss all that is beautiful here and now and by the time they realise it it is too late to get that time back.

Those peope out there; I wrote you this poem for you.

The Innocence of a Child

Some people brought their babies to Jesus for Him to place His hands on them.
The disciples saw them and scolded them for doing so,

but Jesus called the childrn to Him and said,

"Let the children come to me and do not stop them,
because the Kingdom of God belongs to such as these.

Remember this! Whoever does not receive the Kingdom of God like a child
will never enter it."

Luke 18.15-17

Psalm 23

The Lord is my Shepherd
That's Relationship!
I shall not want
That's Supply!
He maketh me to lie down in green pastures.
That's Rest!
He leadeth me beside the still waters.
That's Refreshment!
He restoreth my soul
That's Healing!
He leadeth me in the paths of righteousness.
That's Guidance!
For His name sake
That's Purpose!
Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death.
That's Testing!
I will fear no evil.
That's Protection!
For Thou art with me
That's Faithfulness!
Thy rod and Thy staff they comfort me,
That's Discipline!
Thou preparest a table before me in the presence of my enemies.
That's Hope!
Thou anointest my head with oil,
That's Consecration!
My cup runneth over.
That's Abundance!
Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life.
That's Blessing!
And I will dwell in the house of the Lord.
That's Security!
Forever
That's Eternity!

Miss U Honi! You're Beautiful

My Best memories go out
to the nights that became mornings
and the friends that became family.

Sarah, you flew into my life

completely unexpectedly...

Feel like I've know you forever

But in reality was just a few short days.

The sister I always wanted

~ Missing you ~

When i come over next
we'll meet up - run amok

Teachers do it better and have more fun

Till then, stay in touch

Keep smiling

You're Beautiful!

10 Days From 3 Weeks of Missing You

Verse 1
Learning to swim in the waters of trials and tribulations
Diving deep inside looking for myself
You are the gentle current pushing me back to shore
There's no who but only you for me

Pre Chorus
10 days from 3 weeks of missing you
3 weeks to the day of meeting you again

Chorus
I want you to know how I feel
I'm as sensitive as a new born skin
I want to know how you feel
I'm as sensitive as a new born skin

Verse 2
You pick me up and push me down
I hope that I'm not in perfect hell
You are making me grow, and sometimes it hurts
Whatever happens from now, you’ll still be special

Pre Chorus
I'm not expecting anything girl
You got me all wrong in how I feel

Chorus 2
I'm giving you the space that you need
I'm as sensitive as a new born skin
I'm giving myself the space that I need
I'm as sensitive as the new born skin

Verse 3
I don't deserve to be treated this way
I'm happy to be your friend, happy to just see you
I don't understand why ya feel otherwise
I'm on the same page as to what you want

Verse 4
We were living in our own lanes until the crossroad
We can choose to merge like the river meets the sea.
You can choose to pass me by and cruise on alone
I know my answer and only you'll know yours

No one has ever written a song for me before... You are one of the nicest guys I have ever had the pleasure and privilege of calling friend. Beneath the jesters hat I know is a deep and caring gentleman... Casanova you say but I know the Romeo at heart. Never doubt yourself; I will always have faith in you. Never doubt my friendship, it is unwavering. Never doubt my love for you, it will always be there.
I will treasure this song always.

Here's To The Crazy Ones.

Here's to the crazy ones.
The misfits. The rebels.
The troublemakers.
The round pegs in the square holes.
The ones who see things differently.
They aren't fond of rules. And they have no respect for the status quo.
You can quote them. Disagree with them. Glorify or Vilify them.
But the only thing you can't do is ignore them.
Because they change things.
They push the human race forward.
And while some may see them as the crazy ones, we see genius.
Because the people who are crazy enough to think they can change the world,
are the ones who do*

Risks

To laugh is to risk appearing the fool,
To weep is to risk appearing sentimental,
To reach out for another is to risk involvement,
To expose our feelings is to risk exposing our true self,
To place your ideas and dreams
before the crowd is to risk loss,
To love is to risk not being loved in return,
To live is to risk dying,
To hope is to risk despair,
To try at all is to risk failure,
But risk we must, because
the greatest hazard in life is to risk nothing.
The person who risks nothing,
does nothing,
has nothing,
is nothing.

You may avoid suffering... but you
cannot learn, feel, change
grow, love or live.

Chained by what is certain, you are a slave.
you have forfeited fredom.

Only the person who risks can be called
FREE

The gap between us

There’s a gap between us now
You just don’t understand
You don’t know me anymore
And you don’t want to know do you?
I find myself retreating more and more
And the gap between up just keeps growing…
We used to have so much in common
What happened?
And the more I reach out to you the more I’m reminded…
You used to want to know about me
You made me feel special once
But now I just feel empty
And the gap between up just keeps growing…
I try to hide with work
But it’s not enough
You seem to always think the worst of me
Will I ever be good enough?
When will I know to do the right thing?
Or will I just have to learn to live for myself and not for you
And the gap between us just keeps on growing…