Alone

Dying inside without making a sound

Searching for love that cannot be found

Thoughts go in circles, circling the drain

Smile on my face so you don't see my pain

The invisible heart that no one can see

I'm starting to ask myself "What's wrong with me?

Is it so much to ask for? Does anyone care?

If I open the door will someone be there?"

I try to go on with life's day-to-day

I tell them I'm happy, I'm good, I'm ok. 

But nothing fills the emptiness inside

There's cracks in my armour I simply cant hide

So alone with my thoughts I sit here and cry

While little bits of my heart break and die

Then I pick myself up and wipe off the tears

And close up my heart to keep out my fears. 

       -by Rebecca Cheong

         13th September 2013

Goodbye Is Never Easy

Such a simple word
To cause my heart such fear,
One I never like to say
And never like to hear.

Goodbye is never easy,
It's the closing of a door.
Like the end of a favorite story -
When sadly there's no more.

And we cling on to our memories,
But the mind's a fickle thing.
And it gets harder to hold onto them,
To recall the joys they bring.

As each today becomes a yesterday
Distance and years can't mend,
Time apart will consume the heart,
The relationship, the friend.

Not by choice or act of will -
We are standing in life's river,
And as the current rushes past us
That part is gone forever.

To walk forwards is a frightful thing
As the path is yet unknown,
But to stand still and not move at all
Is to spend your life alone.

So you see Goodbye is necessary
Though we may wish that it were not.
We can't be afraid of letting go
'Lest I be forgot'.

Fore the forest needs the fire-
To give the seed a chance to grow,
Like a phoenix from the ashes,
Or Spring-time after the snow.

It's the pattern in the tapestry
That is revealed as time goes on.
You will meet new people, see new places,
And do things you've never done.

So goodbye my friend you will be missed!
But if by chance it's not the end,
And fate should smile on us in another time and place
May our paths cross once again!

(By R. Cheong
5th October 2011)

When I am down and oh, my soul so weary...

"No trial has come to you but what is human. God is faithful and will not let you be tried beyond your strength; but with the trial He will also provide a way out, so that you may be able to bear it."
(1Cor. 10:13)

Oh Lord I am humbled! Our trials, but the trials you endured were inhumane. Your Word gives me strength and reassurance. When my day has been dark, it is the light that shines, reminding me that whatever is will pass and You are what is to come. Amen!

The Mask...

I don't know where I'm going
You don't know where I've been
Can't tell what the future's holding
I'm not as brave as I seem

I only feel like running
But I'm frozen in this place
Please don't remove my mask
The truth is hard to face

People think I am strong
Why can't they see the act
Once damaged can't be sold
Its courage that I lack

Sometimes I feel like crying
So numbness becomes my friend
In time I forget how I once was
And it becomes me in the end...

Crystal Chalice

The sound of distant laughter
Once familiar - now unknown
Love that was had but since is lost
Feeling utterly alone

A voice whispers in the dark
Despair is pushed away
A silent prayer offered up
A life exchanged this day

A single flame in the dark
Come to life once more
The crystal chalice shatters -
Diamonds on the floor

Reflections in the broken glass
Like thoughts half remembered
No longer hiding from the past
And those who've been offended

A drop of blood from crystal shards
A vessel for the soul?
Now shattered, broken on the ground
Will never again be whole

Then swept away the shards are cleared
Reality is shifted
Not a cup bit cage of glass
The crystal prison lifted

A new vessel - Spirit forms
Making the soul it's home
Stronger than crystal - never to break
And never to be alone

~*~

By Rebecca Cheong
(written 2010)

Rushing

Sitting at the bus stop,
Cars pass me in a rush,
An endless stream of people,
While I'm waiting for the bus.

Where are they coming from?
Where do they go?
Are they happy with their lives?
I'd really like to know!

All day, every day,
Moving all the time
As I sit here motionless
Lives rush past mine.

"Gotta go!" "Cant be late!"
"Beat that traffic light!"
Appearing from around the bend,
Then speeding out of sight.

It really must be tiring,
Rushing every day.
Have a break, chill out a bit
"Take the bus" I say.

They wouldn't have the time to hear,
Too worried they'd be late-
With people to see and places to go,
Ruled by deadlines and dates.

And so I sit and wonder
That rushing must be hell...
But my bus is here, I gotta rush
Or I'll be late as well.

















By Rebecca Cheong (4/2/2010)

Great Expectations

If you find yourself disappointed with others,
likelihood is you're expecting too much of them.

If you find yourself disappointed with yourself,
likelihood is you're not expecting enough...


Strange isn’t it? This is something which came to me tonight as I came home to a completely empty house (even the maids had gone out for a walk with our dogs). I figured that everyone would be home soon for the lovely looking/smelling spread of food sitting on the table so I went upstairs to my room to check FB and email and such… after an hour I come down stairs to find out where everyone was only to be told (by a very upset maid) that the family had decided to eat out (yes, after telling her that she should cook dinner…)

So there I found myself eating dinner alone feeling disappointed in my family on behalf of my maid and on behalf of myself. Usually it wouldn’t have bothered me as much (usually it wouldn’t have happened) but as my brother and his family is over for a short visit from Australia I was quite put out to have been left behind. And as my brother is a head chef at an exclusive restaurant my dear maid was feeling very put out after stressing over a meal that she was sure wouldn’t be good enough for him.

Then it happened (as it usually does when you having a peaceful shower and completely not expecting it) A little voice asked me… “Why are you disappointed? Who are you to be upset? Why do you expect so much?”
It was about then that I realised how selfish my thought had been… And I was faced with two reflections - one of the person I was becoming versus the person I could choose to be and the little voice reminded me that all I had to do was change my expectations – expect less of others and more of myself… Before you try changing someone else you should, first, always try to change yourself.

So here’s to stepping into the better reflection.
In the words of the late MJ:

I'm starting with the man in the mirror
I'm asking him to change his ways
And no message could have been any clearer
If you wanna make the world a better place
Take a look at yourself and then make a change.

Live Life ~ No Regrets

Live Life ~ No Regrets

Some people seem to think it a narrow minded way of thinking.
Some have said it’s a way of not dealing with life - of hiding or covering up mistakes.
I have been told that this notion will stop you from moving forward in life.

I beg to differ.

Saying that you live life with no regrets is not the same as not learning from mistakes.
Look back; see your life’s journey thus far, with all its twisted, broken and misguided steps, but do not dwell on it.

~ Do Not regret past mistakes or misfortunes~
ACCEPT them ~ REJOICE in them.

Fore it is only through living that we learn to better ourselves.
And life is not meant to be a smooth sailing journey over docile waters but a tough, stressful, rugged battle of rough seas.

~ That is true living. ~

Every tear is a precious living diamond freely given. Every heartbreak merely the raging fire that clears the dead and dying to prepare the heart for new birth of love, hope and joy.
I pity those that have regrets - they will never be able to move on with their lives while they dwell on their troubles.

Build a bridge ~ GET OVER IT.

Life is about contrast and what better contrast for love than having experienced hate, for joy than having experienced misery, for hope than having experienced loss.

~ Fear is born partly of regret. ~

It is being so focused on a past experience that you cannot move beyond it and therefore are not prepared to face it again and CONQUER it.
A new born child does not fear. He embraces life trusting wholly in those around him.
Do you trust all those around you? Can you honestly say you have no fears?
You are a child of the universe and within you lies limitless potential.
You hold all the secrets to the universe.

~ All the answers are given. ~

So what is to fear? That which is needed for your life is given to you and
nothing is ever given that you can’t handle.
Life is about standing at the crossroads and choosing, and the sweetest truth is that there is
no such thing as a wrong choice.
Whether or not you believe in fate, destiny or God, you have the freedom of choice.
Each choice is a step is on your journey, a brick paved on your own UNIQUE pathway, a lesson to learn from to guide you in future.
It is good to LOOK BACK at your journey so far but only to admire it, to be proud of it,
to claim it proudly as your own.
But in looking back never cease to MOVE FORWARDS.

~ Never regret. ~

Maybe It's Time

Maybe its time to start thinking about moving back.

I had a friend who would talk about "taking the jump"

Friendship is so important to me, so what am i still doing here?

Even that is gone but I'm still here, fooling myself

It's all so unknown... But then staying here is just as unknown.

I'm a coward, I can own it. I had hoped... but it doesn't look like he really cares.

When is the right time? Maybe there is no right time.

Maybe he was right and all you have to do is jump.

At least if I move back I know there will be ppl who will truly be there for me if I fall.

I don't have to fear their abandonment.

My family is all I have here or me now, but i need more.

I need friendship and i am sick of the hollow friends here.

Maybe it's time to jump

Temptation Visits

Temptation visited me yesterday

In the form of an unexpected message... him... It really caught me off guard. I had almost forgotten... almost.

Just when I thought I was in the clear it comes back around.

I am weak, But I don't want to be. The danger is when I start thinking... My mind plays a nasty game. My heart get caught up in the web.... So stupid. Stupid little girl...

But then I think of The Boy.

He's the voice in my head, the voice of reason. My conscience

Thank you.

I'll make you proud of me yet.

Reflections On Life

Lie awake
Decisions to make
Focus the mind
Answers to find
Too many thoughts
Ideas to sort
Memories sad
Times had
Friends lost
Count the cost
Conscious drifts
Sands shift
Days pass
Too fast
Time flies
Goodbyes
Eyes close
Life goes...


People often spend too much time focusing on what they dont like aout their lives, regretting past decisions, and longing for how life was before...
What they need to realise is that while they are making themselves unhappy life still goes on.
The truly sad thing is that by always looking back they miss all that is beautiful here and now and by the time they realise it it is too late to get that time back.

Those peope out there; I wrote you this poem for you.

Miss U Honi! You're Beautiful

My Best memories go out
to the nights that became mornings
and the friends that became family.

Sarah, you flew into my life

completely unexpectedly...

Feel like I've know you forever

But in reality was just a few short days.

The sister I always wanted

~ Missing you ~

When i come over next
we'll meet up - run amok

Teachers do it better and have more fun

Till then, stay in touch

Keep smiling

You're Beautiful!

The gap between us

There’s a gap between us now
You just don’t understand
You don’t know me anymore
And you don’t want to know do you?
I find myself retreating more and more
And the gap between up just keeps growing…
We used to have so much in common
What happened?
And the more I reach out to you the more I’m reminded…
You used to want to know about me
You made me feel special once
But now I just feel empty
And the gap between up just keeps growing…
I try to hide with work
But it’s not enough
You seem to always think the worst of me
Will I ever be good enough?
When will I know to do the right thing?
Or will I just have to learn to live for myself and not for you
And the gap between us just keeps on growing…

Escher's REALITY

The original piece named 'Reality' by famed artist Escher


A Lego attempt at reality... i think it's rather good.


Whoever said Lego didn't look realistic?

My House At Christmas [2]

Have yourself a Holy Christmas!


Nativity Scene
(Built by my Dad - isn't he clever!)


Advent Candles.
(We're lighting the last candle tonight.)


Over Loaded Christmas Tree.
(It seems red is in this year.)

My House At Christmas

Yeah this is my house at christmas time...



... And yes, that is a giant snowman on our roof patio....
hmmm, a snowman in Singapore, be it a giant one. DONT ASK!

Every Womans Dream

To Have No Stomach...

This is a photo I took of a statue in our house,
bought by my step-mum.
I find it inspiring and tastefully artistic.

Living Waters

Calm waters gleaming,
Beneath the golden sun.
placid lakes, Quiet streams,
Running into one.

Rainbow worlds of coral,
In Tropical Lagoons.
Silver waters glistening,
Under a silver moon.

Sink below the surface
Into a world of your own,
A short 'get-away' from life,
A place to be alone.

The waters will look after you,
They'll hold you in their hand.
From the surface of the waters edge,
To the beds of shifting sand.

So take a dive and witness
The beauty and the grace,
Of this blue planets' hidden world,
This wondrous living place.

The Fan

When I’m cold, or when I’m hot
The fan makes me what I’m not
There no way to explain this thing
It feels like a big bird flapping its wing
Low, Medium, and high too
Without the fan I don’t know what I'd do
Because when I’m tired its so very soothing
Especially when it keeps on moving!
There’s no way I could live without
Keeping you comfy is what its about
If you have no fan, you're living a lie
And if you don’t plan on getting one
I don’t know why...

The Music of Silence

Sometimes the Music Of Life stops
And you are left with some choices...

To pine away for the lost melody
even while the actual tune fades to a distant memory.

Search for some new song, perhaps the latest craze,
hoping that it will harmonize with your soul.

Dream up a whole new verse
to carry you in the 'right' direction.


But I believe sometimes being comfortable
with The Silence IS enough...

Because if you can accept it and you listen hard enough
You'll realise that it has a chorus all of its own.